AR to AF {Part 13 The Move}

I have had several people ask me, "how in the world did y'all wind up in Africa"?

Most of the time that ends with me stuttering around and giving some kind of a lame answer.
Not because there isn't a really good (non-lame) answer,
but because it is hard to know where to get started.

Sooo, I thought I would begin to share the story that God wrote for us.
It is a looonng story that spans many years.
But don't worry, no chapter book today!
 I will give it to you a bit at a time!

If you want to catch up to speed, you can find:

Part 1 {here}
Part 2 {here}
Part 3 {here}
Part 4 {here}
Part 5 {here}
Part 6 {here}
Part 7 {here}
Part 8 {here}

Part 9 {here}

Part 10 {here}

Part 11 {here}

Part 12 {here}

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This month marks four year of living in Malawi...and I am finally finishing up how we wound up here. This is the last installment of AR to AF!

When we arrived back in the States from Congo, we spent a six short weeks rushing around to get all the girls' paperwork completed so that we would be able to move to Malawi. We finalized the re-adoption of the girls in our home state, acquired green cards, and US passports. God moved mountains and worked miracles to finalize everything so quickly. 

Besides scrambling for paperwork, we tried to spend time with our family and also form  bonds with our girls. You can check out some memories made in our adoption video. We had so much fun re-watching this today!

In October 2013, our new formed family of six boarded a plane to move to Malawi. That day was really surreal. We were ready to move and begin our new lives in Malawi. We were still fully immersed in the hard work of blending our family together. We were nervous, excited, anticipant, yet also really sad to be leaving our family, friends and church. It was a weird mix of emotions.

{Our family at the airport with our friends/BOD members/Co-founders of Esther's House}

After 3 days of traveling, we arrived in Malawi and were warmly greeted by the two families that were on our team (Carneys and Jacksons). We spent the night in the capital city so we could go grocery shopping in the morning. I remember having an emotional breakdown in the grocery store. What does 5,600 MWK for peanut butter mean? Are we going to go broke at the grocery store? What do we need to buy? If I don't buy it now, will we starve? I am so tired!

Oh my gosh, what have we done?!

We drove to Ntcheu and arrived to Esther's House after dark that night. We had nine little smiling faced children waiting for us on our front porch. We entered our home and found our boxes with all of our earthly belongings in the living room and our beds put together (thank you Carneys!). 

We had no electricity. 

We were home.

{First week in Malawi going to buy mangos with the Jacksons. Note how tiny my kids are!}

I don't have many pictures for the next few months after this. 

We were learning how to live in Malawi. 

How to do our jobs. 

Where to buy stuff.

We were learning the culture and how things worked. 

We were learning how to homeschool.

How to cook, find water, manage life without much electricity.

We were learning how to be a family of six.

How to be a working mom with no baby sitter.

How not to get sick when we ate.

How to parent kids from hard places.

 Thinking back on those days, I realize how naive we were. 

How many BIG changes we had just put our family through. 

We had no idea the lessons we would learn, the hurts we would experience, the joy and healing that would come. 

We could not fathom how God would show us how we desperately NEEDED Him, 

minute by minute. 

 By the grace of God, we learned most those things (always learning) and by the grace of God we are still here! 

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Thanks so much for following along with our family's journey.  I hope you will keep hanging around as new adventures are on the horizon that we will be sharing with you all soon!

{thirteen} a teenager birthday post

On June 10th, our oldest entered into teenage-hood.

This has felt so big for our family!

I didn't notice all the changes that have happened this year until I looked back on last years pictures. Our kid is really growing up (sniffle)!

Past birthdays:

Twelve

Eleven

Ten

We wanted to make this birthday a big milestone birthday, which feels a little tricky when you are living overseas. But, we tried our best! 

I do love how our kids have grasped onto the simple parties. 

Choosing their favorite meal, simple gifts, and some friends over and they will declare it 

"the best day ever".

Z has been counting down the days until his birthday for awhile!

He picked his favorite breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

He had his friends over for a water balloon war.

His grandparents and cousins had sent gifts with a visiting team, so he had several presents to open up through out the day. 

We have two other families living here with us, two interns, and a visiting friend. 

So, we had a full house for his party!

We had been filing away some ideas for his birthday from other families we admire and from books we have read. We wanted to make this milestone birthday about THREE things: 

Privilege

Responsibility

Biblical Man-hood

Privilege in our family, where we live, means later bed times and some more movie options.  

Responsibility at 13, looks like Zander having to wash his own clothes and also owning the lawn mowing in our back yard. We want to be intentional about preparing him for adult-hood and giving him more responsibilities to learn hard work and excellence. We are hoping to continue to add to the privilege and responsibility areas each year until he is ready to fly on his own after high school graduation. 

The Biblical Man-hood piece was really fun! We contacted a couple hand-full of men that have been consistent in Zander's life. These men are guys that Zander looks up to and strive to chase after God. We asked these men to write letters to Zander for his birthday. The letters were so awesome! I teared up with each letter as they came in because they were EXACTLY what I was wanting for Zander. The notes were filled with encouragement and words of affirmation. They laid out what it looks like transitioning into man-hood, ways that Satan will try to trip him up, and even personal challenges that they faced when they were his age. David and I also added a letter to the mix! We are praying that these letters will be read over and over again as he encounters the blessings and challenges as he transitions into adult-hood. 

Uncle Titus and Aunt Ashley gifted Zander with their telescope! Such a special gift!

All the Esther's House kids came over and we enjoyed lots of cake and playing!

This years' cake request was sugar cookie cake on top and bottom with funfetti cake in the middle (Thanks Tyler ;)

We're so thankful for all who helped make his day special!

I always enjoy taking pictures of my kids on their birthdays and Zander reluctantly allowed me to snap a few pics in the back yard. 

Gosh, we love this kid so much! 

I definitely feel like we are entering a new era of parenting and a new phase of beginning that "let- go" process as we give more privileges and responsibilities. I am praying that our relationship will continue to grow and morph and will come out stronger on the other side! Friends with kids in the stage ahead of us, we are watching you and grabbing on to any advice you can give us!

TWELVE

Last week our oldest turned 12. 

It is our last year before we have to start throwing "teen" in on his birthdays. 

I am sure if I go back and read all of his birthday posts, I will see that every year I have a bit of a hard time with my first- born continuing to grow older!

It's such bitter sweet feelings all rolled up together.

I love seeing glimpses of the man he is becoming but also clearly see how fast this whole mom-gig is going by. 

And this mom-gig is my favorite thing.

Past Birthdays:

Eleven

Ten

Things I want to remember about Z at 12....

Z is our one quiet child. 

He is greatly outnumbered by all the "louds" in our house.

We are learning his love language is quality time.

He loved that on his birthday, he got to pick all 3 meals and have his whole family sit together and eat and watch him open a gift. 

He and his dad got to get away for the weekend on his birthday and spent the night in a hotel.

You could just tell his quality time cup was filled when he got home. 

He continues his love for reading and most of the time if he goes missing, you can find him in the house with a book.

He is still our day dreamer and I love the ideas he comes up with!
He is learning to play the guitar and likes to practice and watch videos.

He is growing into his role of being the big brother to 3.

He loves to play with his siblings on the trampoline or bring them into his game he invented. 

He is also totally fine being by himself. 

Favorites at 12:

Favorite Color: black and neon green

Favorite movie: Battle of 5 Armies

Favorite Food: fried chicken

Favorite drink: Sprite

Favorite thing to play: sword fighting

Favorite Friend: Corbin

Favorite thing to do with mom: watch movies

Favorite thing to do with dad: Legos, drawing, and sports stuff

Favorite thing about living in Africa: it's really pretty

Favorite Bible Story: Joshua

Favorite subject in school: History

What you want to be when you grow up: a blacksmith for making weapons for movies

New {2016}

I am really not much of a  New Year's Resolution kinda gal. 

Living here in Malawi, Christmas and New Year's slip by kinda quiet like and if it wasn't for social media, then I wouldn't even realize  that Jan.1 marks the date you're supposed to have your list of "top 10" things you want to change about yourself.

But God had a different plan for me this year and many things that He is wanting to change in my life. The other night as I lay awake in bed tossing and turning, the whole house asleep and quiet, God spoke a word over me and it was the word....NEW. A really simple, 3 lettered word, but it had a powerful meaning for me. Starting that night, God wanted to make me new. 

He whispered a word of freedom over my life and I instantly felt like a different person.

"Do not conformed to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the reNEWing of your mind' 

Romans 12:2 NLT {emphasis mine}

In 2013, I was a stay-at-home mom with 2 children and had a perfect little university model school  that my boys attended. The school allowed me to have 2 days all alone doing whatever my little heart desired. Almost in an instant, I became a mother of 4 (lovely but LOUD children), living in another country, having 0 days or even minutes of alone time, and became a working mom. All.at.once. It was a harder adjustment than I realized at the time, and looking back, it kicked my tail. It still kicks my tail.

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted a whole gaggle of kids. Big, loud families always looked like so much fun to me! When my own reality wasn't quite measuring up, I felt guilty that my blessings from the Lord were not filling me with joy. Things that I had prayed for, for years for were being answered. Instead of being thankful and content, I felt overwhelmed which opened the door to Satan totally kicking me in the face with feelings of unworthiness, guilt and shame. 

When parenting was super, super hard (transitions, bonding, trauma, homesickness for all 4 kiddos) it became easier to love on other kids than my own. 

A few months ago, around the 2 year mark of living and adjusting to life here, it felt like we were finally coming up for some air. I also realized that we had listed "please pray for balance in ministry and family" as a prayer request for the past 24 months straight on our newsletters. I began to really have conversations with God about if this balance was ever going to happen or if it was even possible. Then, God gave me this word, "new". I felt like He was telling me, "you don't have to keep living this way, Look! I am making you new. I am going to give you a new way to think, a new way to talk, a new way to feel, a new way to love your family, a new way to operate your days." 

I don't have to keep living in the old. I know this sounds simple or maybe even weird, but when you are struggling through your days, it is easier to just keep doing the same, old same old. Immediately God gave me some really simple and easy ideas of things I can change now. Really specific things that are bringing change and joy to my day to day living now. He is "restoring the years the locust have eaten" 

Joel 2:25.

He is giving me joy in my parenting like I used to have. He is showing me how I can create balance and really savor the season of life that He has me in now. He is also showing me that no matter where I live, or what my current ministry is, my kids and family will always be my first ministry. 

That releases a lot of guilt from this people pleaser that I am. 

I am so thankful that at salvation Christ made me a new creation. I am thankful that He promises to continue to re-new me again and again. That in Christ we just keep getting re-newed each day. We don't have to live in the same patterns, as surely as the sun rises each day, his mercies are new.

Are you a New Year's Resolution kinda gal? 

Has God given you a word for 2016?

I'd love to hear it!

NINE

I tell ya folks, these birthdays are killin' me! 

I mean, people tell you that time goes by fast, but until you are experiencing it with  your kids first hand, it is hard to comprehend how fast it truly goes by.

So here we go, in April, Grainger turned 9. His last year in single digits (sniff)

last years pics/interview can be found here.

Grainger is a kid who likes to joke around and make people laugh.

He loves making friends and words of encouragement is his love language.

He loves playing football (soccer) outside everyday with his friends and comes in each night at dusk filthy dirty and a big smile plastered on his face.

He is a momma's boy through and through and still likes to cuddle and hold hands.

(i am fully aware these days are numbered!)

He enjoys playing with his siblings, most of the time...

We have days of best friends and days of endless fighting, I guess that's how most siblings are.....

9 year old interview:

Favorite Color: red

Favorite movie: Ice Age 2

Favorite Food: cake

Favorite drink: Coke

Favorite thing to play: Soccer

Favorite Friend: Zander (my heart just exploded)

Favorite thing to do with mom: cook

Favorite thing to do with dad: draw

Favorite thing about living in Africa: "that I have like 79 friends to play with"

Favorite Bible Story: Samson 

Favorite subject in school: Reading

What you want to be when you grown up: an artist

{ photo cred: Kristin Copher}

Immeasurably More {Malawi Monday}

I love Ephesians 3:20, and am especially digging this NLT translation....

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."

There has been many occasions in my life where God has shown me that He can indeed do infinitely (or NIV translation says, "immeasurably") more than I can ask or think (imagine), but it seems sometimes I need a reminder of this. 

Before Christmas, He let me have another glimpse of his mighty power.

There have been 2 brothers around 7-10 years old that have shown up at Esther's House in the past. Dad was a witch doctor and boys liked to "wander away" and dad would get mad and chase them off. The first time they showed up, social welfare got involved and the boys ended back up at home with dad and that was that.

Right before Christmas, the boys showed up again. We found them laying outside our gate, sick with malaria and hungry. It was later in the day and their village is pretty far off, so we fed them, bathed them, dressed them in clean clothes, and gave them a place to sleep. I called social welfare again the next morning, and got the answer "take them home". I was feeling so frustrated! Wasn't anyone going to help them? What could I actually do? The boys had a dad, a family, they weren't a fit for our program. So I loaded up my 4 kids and our Abusa (Pastor Stanley) and we bumped in and out of potholes down a long dirt road until we eventually wound up in their village. 

We met dad and older siblings and learned that their mom had died several years ago. Culturally in Malawi, when a mom passes away, the maternal grandmother cares for the children (not dad). In this case, grandma was unable to do that, so dad was doing the best he could for his 4 children. He explained that every time he went out to the field, the boys would run off. We listened, encouraged, talked to the boys and then it was time to go. Still not feeling a peace. 

Then, Pastor Stanley asked the dad if he was indeed a witch doctor. He stuttered around and eventually admitted that he was. Stanley shared the Good News of Jesus with him. He said no one had ever told him about that before! He explained how this man's charms had no power, but that God in Heaven is All-Powerful. The dad decided to follow this Jesus and prayed to surrender his lifestyle of being the village witch doctor. He came to Esther's House a few days later, with all his idols and charms in tow, to meet with Stanley and  Bruce (our house dad) and burn them. Stanley has now gotten the dad plugged in to a good church in his village where he can learn more about what following Jesus looks like. A family transformed.

We drove back home with smiles plastered on our face. Stanley and I each talking to each other about how we had no idea the boys'  story would end this way. God had done wayyyyy "more than we could ask or imagine!" 

I drove out thinking this situation was "hopeless and God reminded me that He is the hope giver. 

I drove out thinking that the boys were going back in a terrible situation and God showed me that He is in the business of transforming hearts and families.

I drove out thinking that this was a problem that was on me to fix and the burden felt heavy. God reminded me that He is the only answer and He carries our burdens.

I drove out thinking that no one was going to really help these boys and God reminded me how much He loves His Children and wants all to come to reconciliation with Him.

There is hope in Malawi, not because any Americans are here, but because HE is here!

He is faithful and He will always knock our socks off and do "infinitely more than we might ask or think."

And what a privilege that He allows us to go along for the ride and see Him in action.

 

Print from artbyerinleigh on etsy.

Same? or Different?

I've had lots of conversations lately about how we are different.
different culture,
different ways to raise children,
different roles of men and women,
different languages,
different taste buds,
different fashions,
and the one you can't quite escape...
different shades of brown

Sometimes I feel like the focus is on how different we are.
It is so easy to focus on the differences.
{This is a world wide, century old problem, not just a "here" problem.}

But, in reality, there is so much more "same-ness".
I don't think we adults catch it as much as the kids do.
Kids just have such  a way of simplifying things, don't they?
You have a ball? Let's play. We're friends!
But us grown-ups, we forget that lesson.
We forget the same-ness, only look at the differences until their magnified disproportionally.

We're all descendants from Adam, brothers and sisters.
As believers, we all have the same Holy Spirit residing in us.
As mommas (all around the world), we love our children and want what's best for them.
Little boys love watching construction equipment and want to hear an "atta boy" from their dad.
Girls, no matter where they are from, love giggling together and knowing they are valued.
All children have a longing for love and family.
Worshipers of Christ desire to bring Him glory and to know they are a part of God's Story.

 

 

 

So much same-ness

It's all about perspective, and looking for what we want to see.

And getting that we are all human.

Same, yet uniquely and wonderfully made.

And when what we have in common becomes our focus instead of how different we are....look out world!

Arkansas to Africa {Part 9- Stepping Out}

I have had several people ask me, "how in the world did y'all wind up in Africa"?

Most of the time that ends with me stuttering around and giving some kind of a lame answer.

Not because there isn't a really good (non-lame) answer,
but because it is hard to know where to get started.

Sooo, I thought I would begin to share the story that God wrote for us.
It is a looonng story that spans many years.
But don't worry, no chapter book today!
 I will give it to you a bit at a time!

If you want to catch up to speed, you can find:
Part 1 {here}
Part 2 {here}
Part 3 {here}
Part 4 {here}
Part 5 {here}
Part 6 {here}
Part 7 {here}
Part 8 {here}

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So last time I posted, I left off with some words that David's mentor had challenged him with...
 "What are you doing about it? Are you pursuing what God is asking you to do? or are you just talking about it? God is not held by space and time. If this is what you feel like God is calling you to do, then step out and pursue it, He'll work out the rest."

Pretty soon after this conversation, God gave us an opportunity to step out in faith. David's mom purchased our "soon to be girls" some dolls that were made by Nehemiah's Wall. Nehemiah's Wall is a support mechanism for the work being done at Esther's House. We had heard of Esther's House, as the missions pastor at a large church in our area (also where we both grew up going to school) had co-founded the orphanage. We knew it was in Malawi, but at the time, could probably not point out Malawi on a map. David decided that night he was going to call Doug (missions pastor) the next day and see if Esther's House might be a good fit for our family.

The next day rolled around and David got ready to call Doug. I nervously started having second thoughts. Would anyone think we would be an asset to their ministry? Would our indefinite timeline cause us to be looked over? Oh my goodness, are we really going to do this? [Insert butterflies and nervous laughter]

By that evening, we had connected with Doug and had a future date set to meet up for dinner and talk about the ministry at Esther's House and our family. 

We counted down the days until that meeting. 
We met at an Italian restaurant with Doug and his sweet wife and talked about the vision of EH, our family, our background, strengths, education. We left feeling very much like EH was exactly the kind of ministry we were looking to serve in. Orphan care, widow care, feeding centers, sustainable projects for the surrounding communities, family preservation.

To us, it seemed like our dream job...but would they feel the same about us? 

I LOVE these beautiful water-color map prints from Jessica Illustration etsy shop

Linking up today with Casey Wiegand and Oak + Oats.

Arkansas to Africa {Part 8-Lots of Talk}

I have had several people ask me, "how in the world did y'all wind up in Africa"?

Most of the time that ends with me stuttering around and giving some kind of a lame answer.

Not because there isn't a really good (non-lame) answer,
but because it is hard to know where to get started.

Sooo, I thought I would begin to share the story that God wrote for us.
It is a looonng story that spans many years.
But don't worry, no chapter book today!
 I will give it to you a bit at a time!

If you want to catch up to speed, you can find:
Part 1 {here}
Part 2 {here}
Part 3 {here}
Part 4 {here}
Part 5 {here}
Part 6 {here}
Part 7 {here}

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We came home from Haiti with a stirring in our hearts to do international missions.

We really wanted to do something with orphan care.

We especially wanted to do work that aided in family preservation.

We felt like God was pointing us towards Africa.

That was all we had at the time. 

We also felt incredibly stuck.

We had invested 2 years time in waiting for a referral (match) with not much forward progress.  We didn't feel like God was leading us to stop pursuing adoption, and we didn't want to either. 

If you have ever been around international adoption much, you know how hard it is to move homes during the adoption process, let alone countries! Everything (home study, USCIS approval, etc.)  is tied to your address. So, in our minds, we needed to wait until our adoption was finalized, before pursuing international missions.

So, we chatted, and dreamed, read books and piddled around researching on the internet; but mostly we just talked about where we felt God was leading us. We would sit around with some of our favorite friends (who just so happen to be moving here soon, eek!) and talk, talk, talk about our futures and life overseas.

In the meantime, we switched adoption agencies, and the country we were adopting from. We received a referral and over an 8 month time period, passed court and then lost the referral. It was devastating. 
And then, we were connected with 2 little sisters who were 2 and 4. They were paper ready and had been waiting for a family for quite some time. God did some amazing things to confirm that He wanted us to pursue the girls. We excitedly and nervously, I might add, started the process to adopt them.

During this time, David went out to dinner with a man that was mentoring him at the time. David shared with him that our family felt called to do some type of orphan care overseas. But, that our adoption was starting over at square 1. We were kinda at a stale mate. And then his mentor said some simple words, that were life altering for us. He asked, "What are you doing about it? Are you pursuing what God is asking you to do? or are you just talking about it? God is not held by space and time. If this is what you feel like God is calling you to do, then step out and pursue it, He'll work out the rest."

So we did.........

Quote via Pinterest {here}

Stay tuned for Part 9 next week!

Linking up with Casey Wiegand and Oak & Oats.